Just a quick note – just back from camp, which was mind-blowing, heartbreakingly juicy.  Every time I immerse myself in the energy there, it’s as though layers of junk gets peeled away.  The first few times it was quite painful, but knowing it was necessary made it a ‘good’ pain, if you know what i mean.  Now i still can’t spend time there without tears washing away lifetimes of dirt, but now the tears are more joyful.  I get filled up to overflowing there, and come home with so much more to give. The connections we make there go so so deep.   As we all stood around the stupa at the end we  were crying, adults and children alike.   Tears are just as contagious as giggles.  But we will be together again.  Now here i am, back at the house, feeling raw and new and fresh and clear.  And unconditionally loved.

One thing that became clear is that i am going to do a month of nanowrimo in August (starting today!).  The words are just bursting to come flowing out, and i’m excited to take out the damn and let them come.  In nanowrimo you write 1500 words a day privately without going back, no editing. When you are done, you have the rough draft of a book.  It isn’t November, when nanowrimo is traditionally done with a worldwide community of writers, but a few friends from camp are going to be doing it along with me, so we will be of support to each other and keep each other accountable.  It  means I will be doing a very loose version of the  August Break .

I also want to address finances.  That is the foundation this blog was built on, and the feedback i get is that this is why many of you read it.  I feel a certain obligation to talk about it.  But the fact is, it’s not the first thing on my mind anymore.  Life is so rich.  I don’t have any complaints.  To dwell on any perceived ‘lack’ just feels ungrateful. I’m so happy!  So i figure, since the subtitle is “on being broke and happy”, it’s ok to focus on the happy part!

It is still quite scary at times, and not much has changed.  But we have everything we need today.  I’ve learned to plan better so that we have gas in the tank and food in the cupboards, even before we pay the bills.  I make sure our utilities don’t get shut off, so there isn’t really anything interesting to write about.  We are in a good position because Michael hasn’t lost his job.  He is making  the equivalent to what one would make at a decent job.  And every day carries the potential to make more.  It’s just that income is down 50% from 2 years ago.  Our expenses have been cut a lot, and opportunities are coming to me to bring in funds, which makes me very hopeful and feels empowering.

I’m really blissed out by the chance we’re getting to work with this uncertainty.  I talked to a friend today about how it’s like surfing, and she said all of life is like surfing. I said, well, this is like surfing the big waves.

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